Plastic... Fantastic!

Fake gets a bad rap these days. Hong Kong knock off watches,  TOWIE tan's and Katie Price's chest, fake seems to attract nothing but criticism. Now I could chat on about boobs as long as the next man (unless the next man was Peter Stringfellow). However, lets keep on topic. I want to stand up for fake. Fake is Great!

There is one key ingredient missing as a surfer in London and that is mother natures waves rolling on to a sun kissed beached with topless ladies wandering up and down the... I'm talking about boobs again aren't I.. anyway you get the idea. Now apart from removing half of Southern England or relocating London a couple of hundred miles west you may not think there is much we can do to get waves here in London 2012. A trip with my bro down to Newquay this summer for this years Boardmasters Festival opened my eyes.

    

Brothers drinking Brothers down by the main stage above Watergate Bay.

It was one of those hot summer weekends (yes it did happen this year) when everyone is at the beach but the swell isn't playing ball. We took the boards down with us, more in hope than expectation as the swell predicted for the weekend of the UKs premier surf festival was an epic 0-1ft (thankfully they managed to finish the comp on the Thursday). Even so, when we got down there the first thing we did was hit the waves as when you live in London you 'aint picky. 

Hungover and not having washed for 3 days.. Stokesy was still a great laugh.

On Sunday, after the madness of partying and drinking until the early hours for the last 2 days (I still don't remember seeing DJ Fresh or most of #Gingerlizard Ed Sheeran) was a session with Pro Surfer and all round Mr nice guy Alan Stokes thanks to a comp I'd won with Mercedes-Benz Vito Sport. With a solid 0.5ft wave rolling in to Fistral we decided it probably wouldn't be on but we scoffed down a bacon baguette and a red ambulance and sauntered over to Fistral ready to be told 'really sorry your session wouldn't be happening because of the lack of swell... nice to meet you... now fuck off.' 

But instead Stokesy and the Animal team took us on this little beauty of a fake wave...      

Despite looking like a complete hungover tit (I compared Stokesy to an invented a new surfer called Russ Swift *Facepalm*) as well as fat next to the pro surfers and skaters it was the most fun I think I've ever had and all I did was fall over. It was anarchy. There were bodyboard battles, tricks, swan dives and injuries. They even had to completely shut down the system after we all jumped down it at once and blocked the filter system. Sod a pool. I want this in my back Garden. And London... the city with everything...doesn't have one?!

What's that?... There's one in Bedford... Right I'm off!

So stop looking down on Katie Price, the inhabitants of Essex and knock off goods down the market. Fake is officially great. Happy Friday.

Ant
@antnewsom89
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